Friday, 2 February 2018

The Tower of MEAT

It's possible I never told you about my theory of food.  I am 90% certain this theory is incorrect, but it is absolutely correct.

When you eat food, the sustenance comes not from the digestion of the food itself, but from the imbibing of the suffering and work of all involved in its preparation. The animals who die, the people who labour and so on, are all fed to you on a deep, spiritual level, through the ritual of eating their food.  This is why meals you prepare yourself are never as filling, you're basically eating your own life force!

Based off this theory, I have developed the scientific fact that the more animals are in your meal, the better it is for you!  And hence for the ultimate in healthy eating, I advise visiting Demazzi in Essendon!  Now I know some of you likely aren't into healthy eating, and that's perfectly fine, there are plenty of places you can go for unhealthy vegetarian and vegan meals.  But for those who care about their spiritual well being, let me present to you, THE TOWER BURGER:

This thing packs in a full three different animals, presented in 5 unique ways!  Ground cow, milked cow, fried chicken, torn up pig AND salted and smoked pig.  It's like a Frankensteinian orgy of flesh!

I must confess, for years I have scorned the quality of food Melbourne (and Australia as a whole) has to offer, but the tide is finally turning and we are rising up to a new age of glory and wisdom. Stay tuned, because this is just the beginning...

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